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The Mother Load

You know, for the first seven months of my engagement, I was very proud of my mother. Of course, she had involvement in the planning but she never once stepped out of bounds. She gave suggestions and she did not even make the implication that I had to follow them. She has been more than generous about paying for things right down to the attire of the attendants and the honeymoon. But lately, I'm starting to see more of a transformation into the typical mother of the bride. By lately, I mean that I was given many clues to this behaviour in a phone conversation with her yesterday.
The first thing we discussed were the readers at the ceremony. I have chosen my Uncle (and Godfather), Jim, to do a reading at the ceremony. One of Bren's relatives will be doing the other reading. I haven't formally asked Jim about this yet and I admitted this to Mom. However, I had planned to e-mail his wife, my Aunt Bess and mention it this week and I also explained this to Mom. "I already asked him, so don't worry", she told me. This rubbed me the wrong way for a second, but I quickly calmed down. After all, it is expensive for me to use my cell phone to call Newfoundland and speak to him directly. In addition, I don't have an e-mail for him. I have one for his wife. I ended up thinking that maybe this was the best way to do it. I was very firm in my decision to choose Jim to do the reading anyways.
Secondly, I wanted to choose my Uncle Ted to read out the petitions at the ceremony. I was also firm in this decision, so again this wasn't a big deal. I told Mom that I was planning to e-mail Ted and ask him. Once again she says, "I already asked him. He's honoured to do it". Again, this rubbed me the wrong way. It was still a brief feeling, but it did last a little longer than the last one. Mom is well aware that I am able to ask Ted directly by e-mail.
Thirdly, we started discussing the seating plan for the front pew in the church as well as the ushers. Until recently, Mom actually thought that she and Dad were supposed to sit by themselves in the front pew. I explained to her that the ushers, any participants in the mass, important relatives and the attendants - Derek, Julie and Kari, when they did not have to stand at the front - would be sitting with them. She felt more reassured because this meant that Ted and Jim would be beside her. She then mentionned that my cousin Chris would also be close by because he would be serving as one of the ushers. I replied, "Well yes, I was certainly considering him for one of the ushers". She then told me, "I already asked him when I was talking to Catch (Catherine's nickname) today". Now, Bren and I know that we're going to need at least 2 ushers (proper etiquette decrees that there is supposed to be one usher for every fifty guests). Bren hadn't given me any names of people on his side yet. On my side, it was a toss up between Chris and one of my friends.
In truth, I was leaning towards Chris because I wanted to be inclusive to my cousins. All of the attendants are friends and the readers are older relatives, so I had been thinking that the usher positions and the processional line would be a good way to include some of my younger relatives. So I'm not bothered by the fact that she approached Chris, because I was going to anyways. I am bothered by the fact that she asked these people for me, and I hadn't even told her that I had made a firm decision in the case of the ushers.
I was very bothered by the last thing that we discussed. A few weeks ago when I was visiting my parents after work, Mom played this song for me and Dad. It was a Newfoundland folk song. At least it sounded similar to a lot of the Newfoundland folk songs that my older relatives listen to (ex: Harry Hibbs). The song was about a father dancing with his daughter at her wedding. Dad hated it. He even deliberately belched during the song to voice his disgust. Truth be told, I didn't like it either but I was too polite to say anything. I wish I had now.  Yesterday, when she mentionned how I am supposed to dance with Dad at the reception she automatically assumed that we were going to use that song for the dance. Dad and I had already agreed to use "Unforgettable" by Nat King Cole and Nathalie Cole. Since I knew how much she wanted to use her song, I was a little nervous when I tried to stand my ground with her. But I have dreamed of using "Unforgettable" for that dance for as long as I can remember, so I wanted to defend my cause. She was okay with my decision once she remembered how "Unforgettable" sounded. However, she said that she still wants to put the other song in somewhere. I'm visiting them after work today. I will be at the house in two hours and I am still trying to come up with a way to say no. Despite being part Newfoundlander, I hate Newfoundland folk music. I love Great Big Sea, and that is the closest to that genre that I will ever love. Well, I do like a few classic songs such as "Drunken Sailor" and "I's the B'y", but Great Big Sea has covered them.
I'm starting to really get off topic. My mother has made some great suggestions, but that doesn't mean that I want her to take over the planning from me. I'm just not sure how to make my point without sounding like "Bridezilla".